In Canada over Christmas, I was dumbstruck by all the glorious English-language publications around me. I flipped through them, reading all the ‘best albums of 2010′ lists while sipping on chai and feeling like the hip, urbane white person I’ve always known myself to be.
Then I found this ad, in all its autoerotic glory…
I had been in love with my own coolness, until I met Heloise and realised just how much cooler she is. She lives in the Abroad. The heading even suggests she might understand foreign languages. She wears capes and stands close to funny cars. Heloise is the chic individual I have always dreamed of being.
If I had stayed in Edmonton longer maybe I could have become like Heloise, but I had a plane to miss and a life to get back to. Sure it was in the Abroad, but most of the meals I eat there are cooked, and I am (I’m embarrassed to say) gainfully employed.
The best I could do was to use my friends to help me mimic Heloise, and perhaps tap into some of her residual coolness…
Meet Viviana. She’s like Asian or something, which is totally cool because it’s a minority. She’s into bands before they got famous and sold out. She likes farmers’ markets. Look at that DSLR she’s carrying. She must be into art and probably likes taking overexposed photos of the sky and shit like that. She’s wearing a coat in feldgrau, which is a totally foreign way of saying grey.
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